Brittany, Owen, Lindsay, Kiefer and Paris… give me a call.

OK, this is NOT real estate related, but I just have to say it.

Owen Wilson was looking to hire someone to be his friend. Kiefer apparently couldn’t afford a cab a couple of weeks ago. Lindsay and Brittany… what does one say? Paris?

I feel really bad for these people. Being young (ok, fairly young in Kieffer’s case), good looking and rich seems to be such a burden. I mean really, it must be darn near impossible to make it through the day without getting hammered and going for a drive… forgetting to put the kids in the car seat.

So, what would I offer up?

I’ll be willing to take on any of the above as a life coach. I can inject a little reality into their lives. And each of them needs a good dose of reality. Somebody needs to tell them to “stop being an idiot”, “put on your underwear”, “don’t drink and drive”, and “I don’t care if that chick did break up with you, there are plenty of others in line”.

I’d be willing to take on the job of life coach for a very reasonable $5000/month… each… for phone consultations. (where are the smilies? I need a smily here…)

And buy some property from me, too. Here’s my new (as in still under construction) website.